Political Humor from Political Humorist Will Roberts, Modern Day Will Rogers

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the most “Fair & balanced Republican of all!

political — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 00:00:52 +0000

Sara Palin said (reading from a prompter) Mr. President, we get it… you won. Step away from the Teleprompter and now do your job.

Palin’s not using a Teleprompter it’s a mirror “mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the most “Fair & balanced”!

Will Says… Cartoon and humor can be found in Will’s newly published book from Tate Publishing, and Amazon and Barnes and Noble book stores.

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-62295-886-3

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I really need to ratings and comments on my political humor podcast. Please go to iTunes listen (IT\’s FREE!) and leave a comment (Nice) and download a few. Please feel free to send me an email if you do rate and leave a comment that asks me for a ReTweet on my two Twitter accounts, 80,000 and 31,000 – You help me I help you.

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Bogota, Columbia & this cowboys search for Common Sense!

political — Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:30:47 +0000

Well this week I am in. I am doing a keynote speech on my Simple Sense to a great bunch of folks who deal in people. They are Human Resource folks that want to learn to communicate with people better.

Now there is a thought I have not seen in a while, communication over profit. Most of the time us speakers are asked to find ways to increase the bottom line. Now, every time when I fly somewhere to talk, the fight is normally the most interesting part of my comments and then how different other countries are to America.

I will say that in my last comments I made the statement of facts about Columbia being #2 on the list for countries with the most land mines still intact. Now, I will tell you that the first thing that happened as I came to the hotel was that I was speaking was a man with a dog and a man with a wand, you know the kind they use now in some schools across America to check the kids before class.

So I am here to confirm that it would seem like the news about land mines might just have some truth. I just can’t decide if they do this because they are concerned that they really have a problem with land mine control

or if they think folks may be dragging one in as they walk in from the streets.

Odd thing about these folks… I don’t know if it’s odd or a good reason to make friends with Columbians. But they serve alcohol for free on their flights. I don’t know if these Columbian folks know this, but the world is broke.

And the best way to make money and prosper is not to give away your booze for free, unless it is a government idea to save on mental health care. I also walked into the restroom area and a stewardess was washing her hands with Smirnoff vodka – maybe these folks are the ones that created bathtub gin. You pull that stunt in the USA and that’ll have you in the HR office in no time.

I can’t even imagine if that young lady was called into the boss’ office, how that would go. “Um Miss Smith as a stewardess we need you to be aware of our bottom line, so next time use Svedka Vodka (10 bucks a =bottle)

Funny thing is that I am here in Bogota to talk to a bunch of Human resource folks. I assume if the booze runs free and folks are bathing in it… It might be a whole different set of rules here. I might even be able to get away with complimenting a few folks while I here without getting slapped with a lawsuit.

Listen, I don’t know if this has a direct connection with the booze. But they served us our meals with real metal silverware… Metal. You know the stuff they check you for when you board a plane and you go through X-ray.

Maybe Colombians are just not as uptight as Americans. Or based upon the bomb sniffing dogs… maybe they believe in “here’s your silverware … you and 200 other passengers on the plane have the same knifes and folks… good luck on that plane takeover idea.

Being an American in another country makes you realize a few things. Number 1, boy, are we spoiled…

And number 2, we have way thicker toilet paper … which in not the reason I think we are spoiled.

One last thing… I am sure glad they have apps that allow you to speak into them and it spits it out in that other language. But beware, like texting, sometimes it’s the wrong words and that can be embarrassing. In Panama I asked a young lady if I had to run to the gate so as to not be late and she looked at me like I had asked her out on a date.

The airport is a little ruff looking. I think I just landed in a field in Panama, but that might just be normal here in third world countries. It really does not smell so good here in Panama. No disrespect intended… I mean I would rather smell barn than almost anything else… But I look in the barn and I know what to expect.Howdy all,

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Cirque du Soleil to Simple Sense-Meet Will by It Matters Radio in Entertainment

political — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 03:17:16 +0000

Listen to Internet radio with It Matters Radio on Blog Talk Radio

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Will Roberts is Guest columnists, for Robin Leach ! @WillRobertsUSA

political — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 17:30:48 +0000

Will Roberts takes the helm for Robin Leach

Source: lasvegassun.com via WillRobertsUSA on Pinterest

Editor’s Note: One of today’s guest columnists is Will Roberts, a cartoonist and one of two cowboys in Cirque du Soleil’s Viva Elvis at Aria, while Robin Leach takes his well-deserved annual vacation to Europe (follow him on his travels at twitter.com/robin_leach). Every day, a new column, plus you never know what Robin will dig up in the wine country north of Rome, so please check back daily.

Yeehaw! I hope I have your attention. Being the cowboy that I am, that’s how we make entrances. Plus, being a Las Vegas cowboy, it’s totally possible that, if need be, I can throw on my diamond-encrusted jumpsuit …

READ MORE… PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT, Will

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Download your free Kindle copy of LOVE LETTERS. To LAURA, Address HEAVEN … Will Roberts

political — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 16:02:00 +0000

Fred Haley Fred@ToastMentor.com

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August 27, 2012

NEWS RELEASE

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Love Letters. To: LAURA, Address: HEAVEN

He lost his wife of 17 years. “Sweetheart” was her favorite nickname for him. After her death he continued to write short love notes to her. In these letters he reveals the pain, the love and the changes he experienced in the months following his loss.

Read LOVE LETTERS. To LAURA, Address HEAVEN – FREE on Amazon Kindle only through Friday (August 31^st). After Friday, it is only $2.99 for the Kindle version, or $4.99 for the paperback.
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DIN54 says: Within the love and sadness expressed in the elegant writing of these letters is the gratitude of having loved someone and been loved back. A quick read if you go straight through it, but savor the emotions and take it slowly. Even then, you’ll be left wanting more.

BOOK LOVER says: What a wonderful testament of love. This book will inspire those still here to show love and offers an avenue for so many who have lost a loved one to still write from the heart. This type of book is both inspirational and therapeutic and shows love is never really lost.

Download your free Kindle copy of LOVE LETTERS. To LAURA, Address HEAVEN TODAY on Amazon.com. Only through Friday, August 31^st. Visit http://tinyurl.com/9fuw7ybHowdy all,

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Mid week political Humor on the Jiggy Jaguar Radio Show with Humorist Will Roberts

political — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 19:31:03 +0000

Happy 4th of July week…

Andy Griffith dead at 86 With the passing of Andy Griffith (know for his common sense) I have a slight concern that common sense maybe dying on the vine. We can’t find it in Washington, and we can’t afford it. And only when someone like Mr. Griffin dies, does it makes it hard to get folks to go along with idea like common sense. So from now on I am a defender of simple sense – because common sense is not so common anymore. I’ll try to use it and spread it around and I won’t charge anyone to take a bit of it from me, just as long as you spread it around.

Congress is on break for the summer … John Boehner is working on his tan and while they are out, I am working on and trying to get a bill introduced to the Congress when they get back to start a committee to study the Congress to see how you can make so much money and not do a stitch of work … and as a matter of fact, create more work and cost the Americans more money. The only problem I see is I am not sure who we can get to WORK on this in Congress.

Hollywood News Anderson Cooper comes out of the closet, he’s gay – I think now that the President has opened the closet and flipped on the light. We might just see a lot of people in the limelight come out of the woodwork and say they are gay; and it might just be the new in thing. Now I have spent 27 years in theater, so most of my best friends in theater are gay. These are the people you see on the protest lines on the TV News… the ones in front, because that is just what entertainers do.

Tom Cruise is getting a divorce. Now, I am not a conspiracy theorist, however, a side note: I think we should make all theories of politics until the elections, conspiracy theories. Kinda like the Fast and Furious issues last week with the Republicans. They say that Obama was trying to shut down the 2nd amendment (Guns). Now I can’t explain it, cause it makes no sense, but I will say they think Obama wants the drug lords to get our guns from AZ. This is because it’s the easiest business for a minor to do next to a paper route. You know, buy guns and sell them to folks out in the parking lot and then these drug folks in Mexico kill folks and we think guns are bad… Told you it was confusing. So back my conspiracy theory; Anderson Cooper and Tom Cruise are a couple? … mission … ? I’ll let you fill in the blank.

Well, that is it for your mid-week update. Be safe and sane used to be our motto at the Fourth of July. I’d say just try to be safe, because we are way past the sane part. Be safe with your fireworks! Remember, fireworks are only safe if you light em and run … anything else is a weapon, unless you hold it, then it’s just called dumb!

Will Roberts

Jiggy Jaguar Radio Show with Will Roberts

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Will Roberts NEW BOOK – A Crackpot’s Potshot at American Politics – @ Recession pricing 99 cents, for now!

political — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 06:42:16 +0000

Will Roberts NEW BOOK – A Crackpot’s Potshot at American Politics – @ Recession pricing 99 cents, for now!

Go here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008EMGTQU

This book is your political handbook for the 2012 Presidental campaign. Will Roberts takes you back a few years with his syndicated humor column and writings from his PBS segment called Will Roberts Weekly Telegram. His insights on Washington politicians and their follies. Will Roberts is considered a Modern Day Will Rogers right down to his boots and rope. * this book has been priced at recession pricing!

Please take a look at my first book release and PLEASE consider reading the sample and writing a review.

IF you have a MAC computer and want to read Kindle go here to Download the program: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_mac_mkt_lnd?docId=1000464931

Will Roberts is considered a Modern Day Will Rogers right down to his boots and rope. * this book has been priced at recession pricing!

Will Roberts

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Will Roberts every Wednesday goes live on the Jiggy Jaguar radio show.

political — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 23:39:43 +0000

jiggy jag show

Every week I do a live chat on the Jiggy Jaguar radio show. he is in a ton of markets around the US. I love coming on this show every Wednesday at 2:30 pm West coast and giving my take on the weeks events. Its all good clean fun, at least until we start talking politics. Take a listen and remember, we are all in this together and in the end politicians will still get what they want, in the end. I’m in the business of making folks laugh, Politicans are in the business of making us cry!

Go here:
Will Roberts
PoliticalComedians.com

Here is Jiggy
The place for all of the latest columns from The Jiggy Jaguar, The Weekly rant is updated every Sunday night at 11pm central.

http://www.network54.com/Forum/253414/thread/1338836169/last-1338836169/Weekly+Rant-+Why+do+I+hate+Salina+Kansas-+6-27-2011

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Our downtowns are becoming Ghost Towns, thanks to corporate America, says Will Roberts

political — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 08:07:14 +0000

America is losing it's Downtowns

Where are the jobs? Olly olly, oxen free, free free!

Now, all I know is what I read on the internet, and all I see, other than politicians` body parts, is the four letter word, JOBS! Where are the jobs? Who took the jobs? Jobs are gone; we need jobs. Now, all signs point in one direction, our President and his employees. I have seen the recent studies saying that our President and his administration are to blame.

Now, I have been following this President very closely, every move. Mainly because very early in the game he was labeled a socialist, which is odd because labeled as such, you`d think getting folk`s jobs would be top of his list to help that redistribution of wealth thing along.

I think it is odd that the two biggest issues on our country`s lips are: jobs, and immigration…
Let me attempt to approach this scientifically. Although I don`t claim to have that skill, after-all, I am a Democrat that way. Anyhow.

Here`s an experiment, and you can try this at home, AND it`s totally FREE; best four letter word in English. The only thing it will cost you is your time. Which, if you are out of work, you have plenty.

So, call up your bank, if you still have one. They don`t allow folks to be friends with them if you don`t give them something… MONEY. Call them, however don`t call your local bank; call the customer service 800 number with a problem. 1-800- 555-1212… (push a bunch of buttons) (wait ten minutes) and you`re talking to someone…. Then ask: where am I calling? Bank says: India …

Now, try calling EFAX (because I have called this company) or call any large corporate business and ask: where am I calling? Corporate business: (insert foreign country)

I have talked to more companies` customer supports lately and all of them, ANOTHER country.

Now, experiment #2.
Go to a home depot or a nursery (plants), a field being harvested or go to a hotel/motel, and notice that has the jobs, most likely immigrants. Now, I am not saying that is wrong, just a fact that most Americans won`t take jobs like this. Odd when you think that this is how our country was built.

So my hypothesis is: The real reason jobs are at an all time low is because corporate America is outsourcing the jobs and Americans are losing jobs to foreigners.

Now, I like to give my readers a little bit of common cents… Which is about all we can afford right now.

So here`s, “The Plan”: Stop outsourcing and give the jobs to Americans. Treat it like the unions; union members get the jobs first and afterwards all others.

And if Americans took all the jobs first; field work, day labors, maid work… all the jobs that seem to have become immigrant jobs, we would kill two birds with one stone, jobs and immigration. It`s pretty rare that folks would move somewhere where there are no jobs.

Your friend,

Will RobertsHowdy all,

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MEMORIAL DAY IS A TIME WHEN WE AMERICANS CELEBRATE OUR FALLEN TROOPS, Says Will Roberts @WillRobertsUSA

political — Mon, 28 May 2012 21:03:37 +0000

Rob: and finally today, here with his weekly telegram is will roberts.

Will roberts: now memorial day is a time when we americans celebrate our fallen troops. It’s a day of remembrance and celebration. But it’s also a day that we remember the troops that are still amongst us. So i pose this question to you america. If we don’t treat the living the same way we treat the dead, well, are we truly honoring the troops? Now all i know is what i see on the street corners and memorial day you see a lot of vets out there, but not all vets are there for the parade. Some are there because they’re homeless. Over 200,000 vets are out living on the streets and not living the american dream, unless you consider a cardboard box a condominium. The hardest thing to do is to spot a vet that’s in need. See only 25% of those vets are homeless, the other 75%, well they’re just homeless, and we say get a job, that’s what they say. But, when there are no jobs, that makes that task a little hard to accomplish. It’s also our duty as americans to give them what they gave us over there, their lives. Give them a life here, serve and protect them, protect them from political red tape. No one will hire a homeless vet, you can’t trust them, even though the government trusts them to be on the front lines with a weapon. Some say we give them a handout, and some say we don’t. I just say they need a helping hand. I think we should make sure that every american gets what’s due to them, a little food in their stomach and a roof over their heads, especially the ones that fought to get us where we are now, eating freedom pie. See there’s a whole new busload of vets coming home. We just have to make sure they’re not underneath the bus. I’m will roberts and this is your weekly telegram.

MEMORIAL DAY with Will Roberts

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